Dealing With a Control Freak: Three Therapy Tips

posted Sep 25, 2012, 6:17 AM by AJ Centore   [ updated Sep 25, 2012, 6:18 AM ]

Control freaks can exist in numerous relationships, whether it be marital, plutonic, or in terms of boyfriend and girlfriend. Although the idea of control freaks may be represented as something that’s hilarious on television shows or movies, they can possibly lead to serious levels of discomfort in real life. There are various ways to deal with control freaks, but I’m going to focus on the most effective ways. However, before I proceed, ask yourself the questions below in order to identify whether or not you have a control freak in your hands (written by Philadelphia Therapy Staff Writer).


1)   Does this person constantly think they know what’s best for you?


2)   Do you feel like this person dominates every aspect of your life?


3)   Do you feel helpless when around this person?


4)   If this is a person you are in a personal relationship with, do you feel that you aren’t able to do things you were able to do before the relationship, such as hang out with your friends?


5)   Do you feel freer when you’re not around this person?


If you answered yes to some of the questions listed above, then chances are you are dealing with a control freak. However, there are ways to combat the way control freaks make you feel, just take heed to these 3 things:


1)   You’re in Control – No matter whom you are and no matter what type of control freak you’re dealing with, always remember that you are the one in control. The problem with people who claim to have control freaks in their lives is the fact that they surrender their lives to the control freaks. If someone constantly tells you they know what’s best for you, let them know that you’re the one in control of your life and that you know what you want more than they do. Of course, the first time you say this, they’re not going to really care. The trick is to constantly tell them that you are the one in control of your life and slowly they will back off.


2)   Evasion is Key – Another common problem with people subjected to control freaks is the fact that they purposely surround themselves with them. If you are in a relationship with a control freak, and you are fed up with them, then cut them off; this may sound harsh, but remember you sometimes have to put yourself before others. Some people just don’t change, so if you constantly try to talk some sense into a control freak and you go nowhere, then end it right there.


3)   Never give in – The power of a control freak lies in your hands. If you let the control freak control you, then it is just as much your fault as it is there’s. Control freaks may try to convince you that what they’re doing is right, but never listen to this. Only you truly know what’s best for you.


In order to deal with control freaks, you must always remember: you’re in control, evasion is key, and to never give in. You are the one in control of your life, so why let someone else control it? Also, don’t feel obligated to be around a control freak; if someone makes you uncomfortable in general, don’t hang around him or her. Lastly, no matter what a control freak says, never ever give in. They will do whatever it takes to convince you that you need them; never listen to them when they attempt to do so. Control freaks can make you physically and mentally uncomfortable, so if you feel you are currently encountering one, then follow the 3 tips I listed and you will go back to living an independent life in no time.